In Dreams Awake
by AllAtOnce215
Summary: Series of One-shots with the help of reviews. I suck at summaries. Your help is needed, so please R&R :
1. Olivias Return

Disclaimer- I own nothing :)

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As I walk through the wide halls of the 1-6, I cant help but feel more at home than I had in weeks. My hairs grown out, so most of the people I pass on the way to the elevator pay no attention to me, something I'm thankful for. My hair is passed my shoulders now, and I've grown used to wearing it down since I went to Oregon. I'm growing more anxious as I step into the small, empty elevator and press the button for my intended floor. Taking a deep breath, I begin to fidget a bit with the hem of my blouse before running a hand through my hair. _I should have called someone. Let them know I was back. _I think to myself as I pass another floor. I soon hear the soft 'ding' letting me know I had arrived on the right level, and the doors in front of me open.

As I walk towards that familiar squad room, I can already hear familiar voices arguing, along with one I do not recognize. Letting out another deep breath, I take the last few steps towards the doorway, not quite in the room yet.

"Since the evidence was our case, he threw out the inditment." Casey, along with most of the others, is standing with her back to me as she speaks to the only one facing my direction. The only one I dont know. She speaks to the woman with such conviction, clearly not very fond of the new girl.

"How could you let that happen?" The stranger retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. I can practically hear the sarcastic remark forming in Casey's, also one on my best friends, head before the words even escape her.

"I guess I suck" She replied, shrugging her shoulders simply.

"I can second that" I say with a small smirk as I finally enter the room. Just as Casey was about to say something back, she turned and soon stopped in her tracks when she saw it was me.

"Liv?!" She asked, a huge smile stretching across her face as everyone else turned to look at me, causing blush to rise to my cheeks.

"Olivia?" Whispered a voice that was all too familiar. I couldn't take that just yet, couldn't face him right now. Before I knew it, Casey was practically tackling me to the ground. I hugged her back with all the strength I could manage as I began to grin widely myself, and I was soon unable to breathe.

"Case! Case, sweetie. Cant breathe" I half-whispered, laughing softly. I heard the others around me start to chuckle as well once she finally let me go. Tears I hadn't been expecting began to spill over as I was passed along to each of them, making me realize just how much I missed them in a matter of a few short weeks. As I was saying my 'Hello's to Munch, Fin, and Casey, I noticed the new girl go to stand beside Elliot, too close for my comfort.

"So, who is she?" She asked, not thinking I would hear it.

"This is the famous Olivia Benson, the one that kept us all sane around here. Shes also the one that kept that partner of yours in check for so long." John introduced me, throwing his arm around me. There was a small silence in the room following his remark, causing Fin to hit John in the shoulder. I was obviously missing something,

"Jackass" he muttered to him while John looked momentarily lost. I could still feel Elliot's eyes on me, but I couldn't meet them. I wouldn't let myself go there yet.

"Oh, so _your _Olivia. Your not really what I imagined." The frizzy blonde said as she looked me up and down. "Well, I'm Dani Beck. Elliots' _new_ partner" She added, not even trying to hide the ice in her tone.

Biting my tongue, I hold back a remark I know I'd regret. Before I'm able to respond, I hear Casey mutter something to Fin, causing him to laugh. "Not for much longer, hopefully" she says with a small smirk.

"Well its about time we started headed out anyway. Lets all go for some drinks" Munch suggests, prompting Fin to respond.

"You sure its not past your bedtime old man?" He asks with a smirk, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair. "Either way, I'm in as long as Liv's comin'." Fin added with a playful wink, causing me to laugh. Casey throws in a cheerful "Me too!" as she waits by the threshold for the rest of us.

"Yeah, sounds great. I'm just going to go say 'Hi' to Cragen first. I'll meet you guys at the elevator" I say simply, unable to stop smiling as I walk back to my old bosses office. "Knock knock" I say upon entering.

"Olivia? What are you doing back here?" He asks, surprise and joy evident in his voice. "1-PP didn't notify me that you had returned. Its good to see you, detective" As he spoke, I was hit once again with the realization of just how much I missed him. Don has been the only father figure I've ever had in my life. The tears that brimmed my eyes told me I missed him more than I had realized.

"The investigation got a little messy, so they just..sent me back. Told me they didn't need me anymore" I explain with a small shrug, wiping the tears from my eyes before he has a chance to see them. We chat a bit more about my return before I mention that I have to go. "I'll stop by tomorrow, I promise" I says with a small laugh before exiting the office and heading back to the elevator.

"Sorry," I say as they hold the elevator for me, "Got caught up"

"No worries" Casey says, waving it off as nothing.

"So, where to?" John asks, leaning against the back wall of the elevator. Everyone thinks for a minute before making the obvious decision.

"O'Reilys" We say in unison, laughing at ourselves afterwards.

"Stabler? Your comin' with us, right?" Fin asks him quietly, hoping I wouldn't hear. His eyes are still on me, burning into my skin as he contemplates his decision.

After a moment, I hear him speak again. "No. Not tonight, sorry" His voice is soft, yet somehow raw. His 'no' cuts me, burns me. I had hurt him, and he hadn't yet forgiven me. We soon get to the ground level and separate, most of us planning to go straight to the bar.

Laughter fills the air once again as we enter, each of us telling stories about the things we've missed while I was away. They tell me about how Dani cant relate to the victims, and has only made Elliots' anger problems worse. I cant stop myself from rolling my eyes at the thought. Countless laughs and several drinks later, I'm saying goodbye to them with promises to be back tomorrow as I hail a cab. Its good to be home.

"This is it, thanks" I say to the cab driver as I toss him the money and begin to step out. Once I step onto the curb, I begin to fish in my bag for the keys to my apartment, hoping I still had them with me. Upon finding them, I continue to walk to the door but soon stop dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me. Elliot Stabler is sitting on the front steps of my apartment building, his knuckles bloody and bruised with his head in his hands. With a soft sigh, I take a few steps closer and find myself unable to stop untill I'm right in front of him.

"El" I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper. We lock eyes for the first time that night as he looks up at me.

"Liv" he whispers back quietly, pain mixed with relief cloud his eyes as he looks back at me. I'm at a loss for words. Finally, I sit down next to him, our shoulders touching. I don't know how much time passes before either of us speak.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, emotions getting the better of me. My voice cracks the slightest bit, but I know he can tell.

"I just have one question." He starts softly, his voice barely faltering. After a moment, he turns his head my way slightly, but doesn't face me all the way. "Why did you leave?"

With a soft sigh, I briefly shut my eyes and let a single tear run down my cheek. "Remember back on the Gitano case? You said that we could never let personal feelings get in the way of our job. That we couldn't choose saving each other over the victims, otherwise we couldn't be partners." I begin to explain."I knew it would be impossible for me to promise and agree to that. Subconsciously, I new I didn't have a choice. In the end, I would always end up trying to save you. So I left, to make it easier on both of us."

His eyes are on me as I speak, and I can see that what I'm saying is bringing back painful memories on both of our parts, but I can also see that he understands it needs to be said. "You should have talked to me, Olivia. We could have figured something out. When I didn't know where you were, I imagined the worst. You have no idea what it did to me, Liv" He says softly, shaking his head lightly.

"I know. But I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to call you, to talk things out. But they wouldn't let me, not while I was undercover. I was scared too, and I'm so sorry, Elliot" I add, my voice barely above a whisper as more tears escape me.

"So, are you coming back? To work, I mean." He asks after a moment of silence, a hint of hopefulness appearing in his voice.

"I'm not sure." I respond, shrugging while shaking my head. "I don't really fit in anywhere. I mean, you have Dani now. Where does that leave me?"

Rubbing his hand slowly down his face, I see the cuts on his knuckles more clearly and shake my head, wondering what poor object had to suffer through _that_ beat down.

"This is your home Liv, you fit in anywhere. I'm sure Cragen will find a spot open for you. Besides, I'm not really sure how well things with Dani are working out anyway." He encourages, nudging me lightly with his shoulder as he gives me a small smile.

"Alright, I'll think about it" I promise, "On one condition"

"What?"

"You hit pillows for now on" I joke as I grab his hand and closely examine the cuts.

"Deal" He agrees, shaking his head as a soft laugh escapes him.

After another minute, I take a wild guess as to what it was. "Lockers, again?" I ask with a smirk. He winces as I graze one of the cuts with my thumb, and nods sheepishly. "Figures" I mutter, still smirking to myself as I gently try to clean out the wounds.

"So, we're good?" He asks, almost shyly, after another moment passes. Looking back up at him, I dont even try to surpress a smile.

"Yeah, we're good" I promise. Everything else can wait untill the morning. All that matters that this moment is the simple fact that I'm home. Nothing and no one can change that now.

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AN- So thats the first one-shot for this collection. Tell me what you think? Kind of sucks, I know. Reviews are like the E/O relationship..Hot and get me excited x) Kidding! But seriously, drop a review and let me know what other kind of one-shots you guys want to read about. It can be any pairing, it can be a song-fic, whatever you want. The sky is the limit. Just let me know, give me about a day or two to write it, and it'll be posted as soon as possible :)


	2. Post Savior Version 1

Disclaimer- I own nothing :)

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"Detective" A young nurses voice pulls me from my thoughts, her tone is rushed and somewhat impatient. "We need an answer now, we're losing time"

Another moment passes. I feel speechless, but somehow find my ability to talk. "Um, yes. Yes, do whatever you have to" I say nodding, blinking back the tears as they threaten to fall. As I look through the window to where they are beginning to work on the premature baby girl, my vision becomes clouded. They soon begin rolling her out to another room upstairs, I'm unpermitted to go with them. Before I know it, I'm pacing back and forth, waiting on any word of that innocent childs condition.

"Liv" Elliot Stabler. My partner, my best friend. I briefly look over my shoulder at him, knowing full well that if I turn to him completely, I'll fall to pieces. "Whats going on? Captin called me and told me about what Gladis did" he explains as he gets closer, my back still turned to him. Biting my bottom lip, I continue with my feeble attempts to keep the tears at bay.

Its no use. He gently puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me to face him as the first silent tear rolls down my cheek. His once confused expression softens as he takes in my broken one. "Olivia" he breaths softly, gently pulling me into his arms. This isn't normal for us, we usually have a physical boundary. Tonight's different though, a part of my world seems to be falling apart. I continue to sob silently into him while he tries everything he can think of to soothe me, whispering soft reassurances into my ear.

What feels like an eternity passes before I'm able to collect myself and form a coherent sentence. My sobs have stopped, but I'm still shaking. Seeing this, Elliot removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders before leading me over to a small row of chairs against the wall. Soon enough, I'm telling him everything. More tears spill from my eyes as I go on to explain my stress over the baby's health, but I don't bother to wipe them away.

Another eternity passes, and Elliot is now telling me about the stresses he went through with the birth of all his children, especially Eli. Miraculously, he is able to get me to smile again, telling me stories about his each of them. The pride in his voice whenever he speaks of them still leaves me breathless.

As we sit in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, Elliot gently massaging the back of my neck to comfort me, I cant help but think of the possibilities that could come from this surgery. Both good and bad. As I stare down at my hands in thought, I soon begin to speak up. "El, what if she doesn't make it?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey, Liv you cant think like that. The 'What ifs will drive you crazy. Gladys was right to leave the baby to you, theres nobody in the world who deserves a kid more than you do. Just...try not to think about it." He soothes me. A part of me hates him for always being here for me, for never letting me down then refusing to let me return the favor. The other part of me feels safe in his reassurances, even knowing that theres a more-than-likely chance he could be wrong. "And I'm not leaving your side, no matter what the outcome may be. Your not in this alone, I promise."

His thoughtful words bring tears to my eyes and I'm rendered speechless yet again. "Thanks El" is all I manage to choke out in fear of my voice cracking. Before I am able to say anything else, or even attempt, we are interupted by a nurse as she clears her throat. I'm on my feet in an instant. My heart shatters into a million pieces as the look on the young womans face tells me all I need to know. Its all over.

"Detective, I'm so sorry" She says softly, obviously pained to be the one that has to break the news. "We did everything we possibly could, but she was too small and her body couldn't handle the anesthetics. She didn't make it. I'm so sorry" the young nurse repeats.

I'm suddenly oblivious to everything else around me. The only thing registering to me anymore is the fact that the large part of my heart that was in that little girls hands is now gone, broken. Nodding softly, I say nothing and simply turn around as tears begin to hit my cheeks like bullets, streaming down my face before I'm aware of anything else. My partners arms are around me once again, and his soft, warm lips are pressed to my forehead as he attempts to calm me down.

"Its gonna be alright, Olivia" He whispers reassuringly, his lips barely moving as he speaks. "Its okay, I'm not going anywhere" his promise barely registers to me, and the next thing I'm aware of is sitting in his car as we sit outside my apartment building. "I'm staying with you tonight" he announces softly. By now, I'm calmed down and am finally able to once again form rational sentences.

"El, you really don't have to. I'll be fine." Even I don't believe the words as they come out of my mouth.

"Bull."

"What about Kathy?" I ask after a moment.

"She'll be fine without me. Things with her are...complicated anyway. Its no big deal, I'll just sleep on your couch, it wouldn't be the first time"

Rolling my eyes lightly, I finally give in and shrug. "Fine, because apparently I need a babysitter. Lets go" I mumble, getting out of the car. Chuckling at my quickness to give in, he throws his arm over my shoulder as I walk and pulls me closer to his side. Hes my best friend, my partner, and the only thing that will be able to get me through tonight with most of my sanity still in tact.

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AN- So that's the second one-shot for this collection. There will also be another version of this up later, with a few alterations for those of you who aren't happy with the outcome :) Tell me what you think? Kind of sucks, I know. Reviews are like the E/O relationship..Hot and get me excited x) Kidding! But seriously, drop a review and let me know what other kind of one-shots you guys want to read about. It can be any pairing, it can be a song-fic, whatever you want. The sky is the limit. Just let me know, give me about a day or two to write it, and it'll be posted as soon as possible :)


	3. The Reason

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

**Summary- Takes place right after Fat. Elliot stays late at the office after everyone else leaves, thinking over the recent case and all the events that took place during it. He begins thinking back over the previous seven years and the mistakes he has made. Just a simple one-shot. Hints of EO. The song is The Reason by Hoobastank (One of my favorites.)**

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Elliots POV

"I wont say its been a pleasure" Those were Blaines last words to me before I was left to stare at the now empty desk in front of me. Leaning back in my chair, I'm unable to stop myself from starring at the spot that was once occupied by my old partner, my best friend. _How the hell did I mess things up so bad? _I think to myself continuously, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I'm completely oblivious to the fact that the office has cleared out of everyone except myself, and I sit alone in the barely lit squadroom.

**I'm not a perfect person**

**Theres many things I wish I didnt do**

My mind begins drifting back to Olivia, and my words from earlier hit me as I realize how true they are. "Well, Olivia's a saint" At the time, the words were somewhat sarcastic, but thinking back now, I see that I was right. Olivia was a saint to put up with me, still is. She was smart to get out when she did, I'm just a bit surprised she didn't leave sooner.

**But I continue learning**

**I never meant to do those things to you**

I tried shutting her out so many times. I yelled, ignored, and picked fights with her constantly, but she always remained in the desk across from mine. She would wait untill I was ready to talk, and had the patience to deal with me when nobody else did. I betrayed her trust countless times, mostly to protect her, and often did exactly what she told me not to do. Still, I would enter work the next morning and find her sitting at her desk. Olivia Benson was a saint, and I let her down.

**And so I have to say before I go**

**That I just want you to know**

For so long, it seemed like everyone else in the unit knew something about her that I was yet to figure out. The way some of them would look at me at times, especially when we fought, had hints of disappointment in them. It took her leaving for me to finally figure out what they saw. I was lucky to have her as my partner, a fact that my Captin pointed out on several occasions.

**I found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

Before I'm able to realize it, I begin to drift and flashbacks of the past seven years attack my mind. They are mostly of the mistakes I've made, and how she always managed to remain faithful to me as a partner.

**I'm sorry that I hurt you**

**Its something I must live with everyday**

_"I cant do this anymore. I cant be looking over my shoulder, making sure your okay" My voice somehow echoed through the crowded station house as I yelled, walking away from Olivia._

_"You son-of-a-bitch, you know thats not true" She was angry, just as she had the right to be. At the time, however, I was too hard-headed to realize it. I knew the next words out of my mouth would hurt her, and at the time I didn't care._

_"I need to know you can do your job, and not wait for me to come to the rescue" With each and every word, my voice got louder, causing more people to watch the exchange. Before anything else could be said, Cragen interrupted us and I stormed off. I never appologized to her._

**And all the pain I put you through**

**I wish that I could take it all away**

_"You had to choose between saving that little boy and saving Olivia" George told me calmly in an unexpected session we had later that day._

_"Yeah, but she didn't need me" I retorted._

_"You didn't know that"_

_A long moment passed before I spoke again. "I wish I didn't..." the end of my sentence trails off as I thought of how to say it._

_"Didn't what? Didnt...care so much?" George assumed correctly. He took my silence as a confirmation. "Elliot, thats what makes you a good partner"_

**And be the one who catches all your tears**

**Thats why I need you to hear**

_Everyone in the large room was panicked and breathing heavy, I tried my best to remain calm but tears brimmed my eyes as Victor Gitano held a gun to the back of my head._

_"We can all walk out of here alive, if you just put the gun down" Gitano's voice was panicked, scared but on the verge of calming down._

_Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks, and I could see the same in Olivia's eyes as she contemplated taking the shot, her eyes shinning with her own unshed tears._

_"Its okay" I promised, my voice barely above a whisper as I tried my best to give her a reassuring smile._

_"I'm sorry" Her voice was shaky, scared and full of regret. I closed my eyes at that moment, and lightly bit on my lower lip. Soon, the sound of a shot being fired filled the room and there was no longer a gun being held to the back of my head. There were other voices in the room now, but as I opened my eyes, the only thing I was aware of was my partner with tears pouring down her face as she stood only a few feet from me._

**I found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

**And the reason is you**

A thousend more images attack my mind as I continue to daydream. Her smile, her tears, her way with the victims, all the things that made her who she was. Who she is. This last case was only made bearable by the fact that I was able to work with her again, no matter how limited our time was.

**I'm not a perfect person**

_"I like that shirt" That familiar voice rang through the empty locker room as I stood getting changed after getting into a fist fight with Blaine. Her voice was the last one I expected, my heart nearly stopped. I paused for a moment, then turned around slowly to see her leaning against the door frame._

_"What are you doing here?" I asked, saying the first thing that came to mind._

_"I heard about what happened with you and Blaine" Olivia stated simply, acting as if it should be obvious._

_"What can I tell ya? He's a prick" I replied as I began buttoning up my shirt, feeling somewhat numb._

**I never meant to do those things to you**

_Taking a few steps closer, we were merely inches apart. I thought for a moment before speaking, searching her face for the real reason she was standing in front of me. "Why didnt you tell me?" I asked softly._

_She sighed softly before answering, no doubt taking a second to put it together. "Elliot, we've been partners for seven years, longer than anybody else here. We needed a change." She paused for a moment then to gauge my reaction. "I'm sorry, I should have talked to you. It's just...it's just too complicated"_

_We both looked at each other for a long moment, searching each others faces for any unspoken answers or messages. Almost a minute passed as I finished buttoning up my shirt, and I simply brushed past her with a quiet "Thanks for dropping by"_

**And so I have to say before I go,**

**That I just want you to know**

Soon enough, my thoughts come back to me and shake my head lightly as I try to get rid of the memories. Sighing softly, I run my hand through my hair and briefly think about what to do. I need to talk to her, I need to get through to her somehow. I consider calling her, but glancing at the clock, I see that its past eleven and theres a chance she is already in bed. That also eliminates stopping by her apartment. Another idea suddenly pops into my mind, and I take my phone out of my pocket.

**I found a reason for me**

**To change who I used to be**

**A reason to start over new**

**And the reason is you**

Opening up a new text message, I quickly rack my brain for something to say. Biting down on my lower lip, I slowly press the buttons. The words "_I miss you" _are typed out on the unsent message resting on my screen, but I suddenly realize this could push her even further. Erasing the text, I type another. _"Come back to Special Victims..Its not the same without you" _Reading over it, I realize just how desperate I am to have some sort of contact with her. Erasing it, I settle for something simple. _"Hows computer crimes?"_ Its an easy opener, but her answer will also give me some insight into whether or not she misses SVU.

**I've found a reason to show**

**A side of me you didn't know**

**A reason for all that I do**

It feels like forever passes before my phone begins vibrating, but a quick glance to the clock tells me its only been a little more than two minutes. Opening the phone slowly, I hold my breath as I read over her reply. I let out the breath I was holding, and feel a small smile cross my features at her words. _"It sucks..I miss being home"_

**And the reason is you**

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**A/N- Not the best, I know..But I just watched 'Fat' today, then heard that song and the story kind of came to me :) What do you guys think? Obviously, Olivia is referring to Special Victims when she says 'home' at the end..for those who might not have gotten that part, and it just kind of seemed to me like Elliot was sort of lost without Olivia in this episode so I wanted to explore that a little bit. Anyway, I was thinking of possibly making a second part to this, but I'm not sure. Thoughts? Opinions? Questions? Reviews are great, so keep them coming! :)**


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